I am here to talk about an issue that is of little consequence in the grand scheme of things, but which distresses me. This post is about being Girl. Allow me to explain, but first I'll begin with a clever anecdote in order to snag readers and make them smile.
I know most girls would prefer that you don't, while in their company, expound on the supreme sexiness of various models, actresses, singers, etc. I myself am not suggesting that you do so. However...well, let's look at this.
When most girls mention how hot another girl is to their boyfriend, they want said boyfriend to say something along the lines of "she's not nearly as pretty as you are." But in certain circumstances, what seems to be the right answer is actually a terrible answer. Observe:
Me: something something something about Megan Fox.
Male-Type Creature: Ugh, Megan Fox.
Me: ...you don't think Megan Fox is hot?
Male-Type Creature: Meh, well...
In this scenario, the male-type creature is attempting to make me feel better about my own standards of beauty by NOT talking about how sexy Megan Fox is. But rather than "you're prettier than her", the message he's sending is "my standards are so high that not even the nation's current sex symbol meets my expectations." That has the opposite effect intended. Instead of me going 'aw, he thinks I'm pretty,' I end up going 'my God, if he thinks Megan Fox is ugly, he must think I'm a -hag-.'
Case in point.
That very thought is the essence of being Girl. Girls (with a capital G) are insecure, compliment-hungry vultures who seek out negative things in innocuous and well-meant words and raise them triumphantly to the sky like a caveman making a kill.
Being Girl means fishing for compliments, twisting words, and attempting to manipulate men with feminine wiles. Being Girl means playing games - the kind of games that society tries to force us to play, even if it obstructs romance more than it propagates it. Here are some examples of being Girl:
Boy: You look really nice tonight.
Girl: So I don't look nice normally?
Boy: That dress makes you look so thin.
Girl: So you think I'm fat?
Girl: Does this color look good on me?
Boy: Every color looks good on you.
Girl: That is such a line. You're using lines on me!
Boy: It's not a line! You look good in every color!
Girl: You are such a jackass. You don't even care about me. Everyone knows I look awful in red.
Boy: You look great in red!
Girl: No I don't!! Every time you insist that I look good in red, I know you're lying to me. You're a liar!
Boy: Okay, okay, fine! Red /does/ wash you out a little.
Girl:...are you saying I look bad in red?
You see what I mean? These Girls have the ability to turn any and every nice comment that some poor, unsuspecting, well-meaning boy says into some sort of insult or degradation. Girls keep their men in a constant state of guilt and nerves. They are both in the doghouse and walking on eggshells constantly.
But for some unknown reason, Girls seem to be the most popular with guys. Why? Perhaps we will never know.
Any opinions that readers want to offer are welcome. This blog has anonymous comments enabled, so you don't have to have a Blogger account to reply. C:
Thoughts? Comments? Spam? Do you know a Girl? Are you a Girl? Guys, how do /you/ feel about Girls?
14 comments:
Ok it's Elyse.
I feel like I can be a Girl sometimes though. Like sometimes, when I say something, I really am hoping they'll say that I look good or whatever. Like I truly believe most girls fish for compliments sometims.
But then, I was thinking differently about the Megan Fox thing. Because not even that I must suck bc not even Megan Fox is good enough, but like, if he says she's ugly you know he's a LIAR, which is pretty much worse.
but it also sucks when someone assumes you're fishing for compliments. like sometimes, you honestly do think a girl is effing hot and you're not wanting/expecting the guy to say "no you're prettier".
Yeah I don't have anything deep to say.
bahaha, yeah, I dated someone like that. It was really, really funny when I wasn't constantly tripping over my words to arrive at a happy ending. The girl was unreal! She said she wanted me to be genuine, but I'm sure she didn't mean it. And no compliment was ever good enough, there was always something more I could have said, or something less I shouldn't have said.
Also? Megan Fox is a hooker. The vile bilge that pours out of her mouth successively detracts from the sum of human knowledge and goodness.
Elyse, you're totally right. Sometimes you say something that you just mean people to take at face value, and they don't take it that way. I hate that. :C
Indy, you're right, too. XD Megan Fox is a slut beyond all sluts. But I don't think you're truly a man if you don't at least think she has a hot body. Imagine that she had the mind of...um, Christiane Amapour, and the body of Megan Fox. See? That would be hot.
omg. thats so true. i do that all the time. but i dont really care what the answer is ya know? i'm mostly just messing with them, and then i make them feel guilty and then we laugh about it
.... but no guy i know would say megan fox ISNT hot....
I think I reached a point of...idk, epiphany lulz ((NOWAI I USED THAT WORD))
Ahem. I think you're definitely right, Girls take everything as a threat, I definitely do, except...with my, um, brother. Everything is a threat between us. :|
The whole Megan Fox thing, if he says "Meh" to Megan Fox, you know he's confused. Megan Fox is a slut, but she is hot. For a guy. No. A guy would think she's hot. Yes.
So some guys build these automatic defenses, and say everything to keep Girl happy. Which I think Girl sometimes will confuse for love. If he always says the right thing at the right time about Megan Fox. I think. So some Girls end up with guys who just know how to dodge the Megan Fox bomb. And that sucks.
My fiance and I strictly operate with only insults and degregations.
Half of it is my inability to take a real compliment. Plus, it's just funner to have verbal sparring matches than kiss each others' asses.
Ultimately though, at the end of the day he chose to commit himself to me and my craziness-- I don't want to put the poor man through anything else by making him trip over his tongue.
Jazz, that makes so much sense. Sort of like how an SAT is just a measure of how well you take the SAT, not your intelligence or knowledge...Girls mistake guys who knows how to deal with Girls for guys who love them. Huh.
RACHEL. You're engaged?!?Lkjsdlg OH MY GOD~ 8D Congratulations!!
Some girls are just way too insecure. As a male, I like someone attractive, but I also like someone who is secure enough not to compare themselves constantly with movie stars and other women. I chose to hang with you, right? There is something I like about you!
Most guys don't like dating girls that are constantly looking for compliments, because it's like waiting to trip over a rock with a backpack full of Nitro. It's no fun constantly worrying if the female is having a good time, or if she is worried that you are going to run off with the first set of D cups that crosses your path. Some of us really are deeper than that. Not all, but some...
Is Megan hot? Absolutely! If I knew her personally, she may just annoy the hell out of me, and therefore not be as attractive as she appears on the surface.
Be yourself, and find a guy who respects you. Don't freak out when it becomes really obvious that males are visually stimulated. We are usually happy where we are. If we aren't, we move on.
Quickly.
This is Katie
Everyone's said pretty much what I would say (I think) except I don't think Megan Fox is a slut (I know a bunch of dickheads who wish she was). But anyway.
I didn't really know what you were talking about, Ginny, until the quotes. At first I thought you were talking about all girls in general, but then things cleared up. And I agree with Elyse, my first thought would be he's lying to me, not he's trying to protect my feelings. I'm not sure which is worse. I suppose it would have to be looked at in context.
But either way when I know a guy who later salavates over celebrities such as Megan Fox in front of me and expects me to look at them the same way after that, I can't. Some things should be left for guy time. Know what I'm saying? But that's kind of off topic.
In the example given, I would be ok hearing "Yeah, I think she's hot/pretty/lovely/sdfhaksf" because I think it shows honesty but I would not want to hear "Fuck yes she's got slamin titties!" Guy time only, guys. (Yes I have heard that said before).
And Ginny, about Rachel, I KNOW RIGHT!?! I didn't find out until late August, six months after it happened! SOMEONE thought I should have found out from her Facebook status... but I'm still super excited for her.
I liked this. & I like you pointing out this awful thing Girls tend to do.
I admit, I may even think like that too; out of low self-assurance. I'd be afraid to take the compliment because I'd feel like he was kidding/totally not alright in the head. Though I wouldn't call him a jerk or a liar.
But let's say I felt great and a guy offered, "you look great tonight!" I'd feel fantastic..stupid Girls..making the poor boys feel nervous and whatnot! There's no need to constantly compare yourself.
BTW, the Megan Fox thing. Beauty's only skin deep. Most girls have SO much more to offer! <3
[Plus, she isn't attractive in my eyes at all.]
Thanks for all the thoughts, guys and girls! :D
Anonymous, you're right on every count there. This is a general overview of 'Girl' behavior, it's not a predicament that I happen to be in at the moment, but there are a lot of girls that need to hear that kind of level-headed advice, especially from a guy's perspective.
Katie, I'm in total agreement with you there, too. There are definitely things that are meant for guy-time, just like there are things meant for girl-time! Discuss Megan Fox with your guy friends, and we'll talk about menstruation and each other with our girl friends.
Forte, everybody (especially in today's society) has insecurities. It's natural to (even unconsciously) seek reassurance from people, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But it's the purposeful twisting of words and manipulation of meaning that characterizes a Girl from a girl. ;D You seem to get what I mean! So don't worry that you're Girl just because you like to be complimented!
I guess I act more Boy than Girl at times o_o Like, I'll say "Gerard Way is sexy" to my boyfriend, and he'll pout and go "What about meee?" in his best whiny kid voice.
I guess I never really thought about how I would feel if he made the same comment about that Selena Gomez chick (who I know he has a celebcrush on, lol). o_o;
~ your fave mexican!
Ohgod, Karla, my brother has a celebcrush on her, too. o___o I don't get it! All of her features are smushed down in the bottom half of her face. Like an anime character!
LOL I had never paid attention to that...too true!
Still...I guess it's better that I'm up against meltedface girl rather than Megan Fox. Cause, chyeah, she's smokin' hot. xD
~YFM
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